Snake

I feel like a snake shedding it's skin. I know that in the end it'll feel better but for now it's just plain ugly. I don't know how to deal with this shit, even though I pretend I do.

I'm gonna be on the lookout for that sunset tonight. I'm gonna be grateful that I'm still around. I'm gonna put one foot in front of the other, just as I've always done. I'm also gonna remember that everyone goes through this and try not to pretend that I'm alone in my misery.

The dreams are back. The bad feeling is back. Like I've said a thousand times before, there are fates worse than death. I feel like a damn fool but then again, I've always felt like that. When does it end? It's been over 20 years and when the hell does it end?? I'm getting the picture that it never does. Days get easier, that's true, but it never truly ends. And people? People will always have a way of hurting you whether they mean it or not. That's where my big mistake comes in......you'd think I would have learned by now but nooooooooooo, not me! I'm the dumbass who still believes that one day someone will come through and mean it.

I don't open up much but I guess deep inside I always think "maybe this time will be different". Well, today, at this moment, at this minute, at this second, I say "to hell with you all!!!!!!!!!". Of course, that's for my own protection.

"There is nothing better than a good lie"....especially the ones we tell ourselves.